Desire for Success & Relationships

While the basic desire for success is naturally a part of all of us, what we view as important varies.

A broad spectrum exists from improved health and fitness, greater personal development, achievement, travel, fulfilling relationships, a deeper spiritual life, a more harmonious family life, a more exciting social life, more financial freedom, education, personal growth, or more free time.

With no shortage of books, tapes or CD's to listen and learn from, why is this most sought after desire going largely unfulfilled by many?

The desire for success hasn’t changed over time; what’s changed is our perception of the way we get there.

We always achieved success through relationship—now we understand that to better help and receive help, we must fundamentally experience this in all aspects of our lives.

Therefore, the intention to form solid relationships must be at the forefront of all our interactions.

The driving force behind this thought is that relationships are primary to everyone’s experience.

We are constantly in relationship with our self, with others, and with a greater environment, world, and source.

A continuous process of cultivating, attuning and attending to these relationships over a lifetime is part of the human experience we share with one another.

Our observation skills, our diagnostic skills, and our remembering what is most important increases the quality of interaction in relationships, and, we would add, increases the quality of life.

I’d like to leave you with one of my favorite quotes from Albert Einstein.

Strange is our situation here upon earth. Each of us comes for a short visit, not knowing why yet seeming to divine a purpose. From the standpoint of daily life there is one thing we do know. That we are here for the sake of others… Many times a day I realize how much my own outer and inner life is built upon the labors of others, both living and dead, and how earnestly I must exert myself in order to give in return as much as I have received and am still receiving.

Albert Einstein

Taking business relationship to the nextlevel

If I’m going to lead you down this new path of what I call NetBeing, a word that was coined that captures the essence of a relationship mindset, I thought it would be important to at least take a look at how networking has traveled over the years.

Like all good things in life, we must always start at the beginning. Won’t you join me?

The 70s: It was all about how much we knew; an independent focus in creating our own success existed in the business community. We presented ourselves as experts and were less likely to share information for fear of losing our ideas, our competitive advantage, or our share in the market place.

The 80s: How much we knew and who we knew. We developed our ability to negotiate and compete, and still believed we were independently creating our own success.

The 90s: Who we could gain access to. We looked at six degrees of separation, and all the ways we could reach and develop a business network. We also began to see, with the explosion of the quality movement, information sharing, involvement, and a more global market calling for establishing solid networks of relationships. The philosophy of networking exploded within the business community.

The 2000s: NetBeing, a new intelligence of relationship building, adds to our learning from the 1990s on how well we are able to respond to the needs of individuals. When we are continuously paying attention to individuals, we can better help them. This new intelligence includes more than responding to the obvious task or project efficiently and effectively. It is also about how enjoyment is derived in the process. Most importantly, going forward is about deepening relationships and attending to a multitude of ever changing factors.

To further capture the distinction, consider the following:

 It’s a place we are coming from, as opposed to a place we are going to. It’s a way we are all the time and everywhere, as opposed to something we do some times and some places. It brings the whole person to the forefront of every interaction. It supports the very familiar rule of reciprocity: what goes around comes around. It balances and integrates autonomy and interdependence.

The following further highlights the distinction between networking and NetBeing.

Networking - A place you go to
NetBeing - A place you are coming from

Networking - Something you do sometimes and some places
NetBeing - Something you do all the time and everywhere

Networking - Meet with others to achieve individual goals
NetBeing - Meet with others to build collaborative goals

Networking - Seeks to make contacts
NetBeing - Understands how to convert contacts to connections

Networking - Support is individually focused
NetBeing - Support is a collaborative process

Networking - How can I achieve my dreamNetBeing - How can we both achieve our dreams?
Networking - Short TermNetBeing - Long Term

Networking - Relationship concludes. Transaction is over
NetBeing - Relationship shifts Relationship evolves to another relationship

A changing world has narrowed the boundaries of the world and opened up opportunities that two short decades ago would not have been imagined. A fast paced economy calls for interfacing with others in multifaceted ways, and our relationship web now extends throughout the world. Therefore, the 21st century provides unique opportunities and challenges in building business and personal relationships. NetBeing focuses the state of concentration on meeting challenges with greater and greater ease.

In addition to the many challenges we faced in previous decades, the following factors now face us as well:
 The information age bombards us with hundreds if not thousands of messages and bits of information every day. We must stay abreast of what is important and stay tuned in to changing trends. Now, in reaction to almost instantaneous information from all over the world, a chain reaction of change is perpetuating an ever-revolving change reaction.
 Quality of life considerations and the diversity of our times challenge us to pay attention to how we approach business relationships. Family and life balance issues have always been critical issues for most people. Now, more and more individuals are making decisions based on that which is most important to them.
 With today’s technological revolution there are virtual offices everywhere. Telecommuting, videophones, video conferencing, black board conferencing, teleconferencing, emailing, faxes and modems, cellular phones and laptops give us unprecedented access all over the world.
How we think about work is changing. There is an old joke about two manufacturing employees. The first worker asks: “Is your job in jeopardy? The second worker responds: “No, my job is very secure. It’s me they can do without. More and more individuals are becoming entrepreneurs, both in response to their desire to navigate their own destiny, and from reengineering, downsizing, and rightsizing that has occurred within their organizations. These new entrepreneurs are looking at each other for markets, for resources, for products, for services, and for business relationships. The new reality will continue to challenge how we think about work as mergers and acquisitions and a leaner flatter organization continues to evolve.
 To keep up with the changing world, knowing how to access knowledge and information is vital. Think about that. The world is changing; yesterday’s knowledge base is not enough to carry you forward. In fact, new information and technology are advancing so rapidly that you literally cannot keep up. You must learn how to obtain the information you need. The beauty of this revolution of need matching up with technology is that just-in-time-knowledge (JIT-K) is only a fingertip away. A JIT-K perspective helps to prevent information overload and apply the knowledge as needed. Some may call this wisdom!
When we fundamentally understand that we have a multitude of considerations that impact how we are in relationship, our view of change and the importance of change is magnified. Consider Ron’s personal view of change.

Let’s take a few minutes and communicate about relationships and change. When you were a youngster, did you enjoy looking into a Kaleidoscope? Were you amazed at the infinite varieties of colors and patterns that evolved as it turned in your hand? Did you ever turn it so quickly that you did not have a chance to fully appreciate what you were watching because things were changing so quickly in the little viewer?
The world of relationship is like a Kaleidoscope. The changes in the viewer pale in comparison to the changes experienced in the last decade–and the changes we will experience in the years to come.

There was very little to think about when turning that little Kaleidoscope: just look and enjoy. If you view the world of relationship as a Kaleidoscope, you will see change. Rather than standing there mesmerized or memorizing the colors and patterns as if you can keep things the same, imagine what it might be like to be the colors. For openers, think about every second of your life, every minute, every day, being different from the preceding second, minute, or day. No two interactions or opportunities are the same, just as the patterns in the Kaleidoscope are never the same. Changes are inevitable–in behavior, in life patterns, in your knowledge base, in your habits, and in your relationships. We are not the same person we were even moments ago.

People change.

Look around you. Are there new people in your life that were not there a month ago, six months ago, last year? Get to know people around you, and get involved with them. Don’t just observe the changes passively, as if you are looking into a viewer. Be a part of them. Get to know people you come into contact with, what they do, what makes them tick. Become interested in them and how you can help them. They’ll do the same for you and you’ll enjoy life more.
Technology changes. Are you still using the same equipment as one, two, five years ago? Not very likely. And the equipment you are now using will become obsolete in the near future. Further more, staying abreast of the technological changes and discussing preferred communication tools with your partner is key in developing a collaborative relationship.
Leadership techniques change. When was the last time you picked up and read a management book for insight about new management and leadership practices?An understanding of the changing needs of today’s workforce (that’s all of us!) will help you be more progressive and able to meet and partner with others within or outside your organization.
Economic factors, urgency, people’s values, technology, and relationship management: all changing everyday, truly a Kaleidoscope. You can become a part of the Kaleidoscope–get inside the viewer–and be the one who determines the next pattern, if you make up your mind to. That’s what the tools from this book will help you do.

Summary
You have reviewed a historical perspective of how networking has changed. A new intelligence of NetBeing has been introduced—the intelligence of moving forward and building deeper relationships while considering the Kaleidoscope of ever changing dynamics in our world. NetBeing has been distinguished from networking recognizing that opportunity, creativity, and inspiration come in many forms. NetBeing calls for staying attuned to the individual and to the world business community, exposing the many possibilities along the way.
In my next writing, we will discuss the desire for success, as you define success, and how developing a relationship focus is a crucial aspect of achieving that success.

Ron Sukenick is the Chief Relationship Officer and founder of the Relationship Strategies Institute, a training and Relationship development company that provides innovative, effective and relevant programs and systems for corporations, organizations, and associations. To learn more about the value of Relationship Development, visit their Web site at www.RelationshipStrategiesInstitute.com or e-mail him at - RS@RelationshipStrategiesInstitute.com.