The Power is clearly in the Connection

So I’m on my way out of town and back to the home of this years Super Bowl champs the Indianapolis Colts and wanted to take a few moments to reflect on my time and experience at this weekends BizJam.

Allow me to start with a special appreciation for the hosts and conference organizers both Dan & Lara for their dedication in bringing people together.

I always develop a warm spot in my heart for people that take on bigger responsibilities other then themselves to support the efforts of those seeking to become a bit more connected.

Dan, Lara, and their support team are doing just that.

For those of you that are reading this, and did not attend BiZJam, I was one of the many presenters providing an interpretation of the networking process and how people come together and connect with one another.

While I get to travel around country doing my work, I have to say that I’m impressed with the BizNik crowd and their guests.

From the approx 93 interactions I had that day and into the evening, it’s a great feeling being with people that are serious about the process of helping and supporting one another.

BizNik has clearly developed into a place that you can come from and has in my opinion laid the foundation for a state of pre-eminence. A state of being. Something that can be done all the time and every where.

If it’s true that we have to be before we can do, then the new 2.0 launch and the opportunities at BizNik is one big step for humankind.

I can now say that I have many more new friends as a result of being a member and in attendance at the recent conference and have what I feel is a good beginning for relationships that in my opinion will never end.

From one joyful experience to another,

Ron Sukenick

"Thinking Points" for Connecting Forward - Attention to a Relationship focus (cont)

How to use thinking points

Imagine for a moment easily making personal and professional connections with others. Imagine tapping into your skills naturally, and establishing contact with individuals along the way. “Thinking Points” for Connecting Forward has been put together to help you in building your relationship mindset. At your own pace and suggesting that you read a minimum of at least one point a day, you’ll find the quotes and bits of wisdom's as a catalyst to help your thinking about the concept of relationship.

You will find that over a period of time, that just the thought of thinking about this thing called Relationship - will help you to deepen and strengthen your feeling about relationship with self and others.

ATTENTION TO A RELATIONSHIP FOCUS (cont)

What is relationship? Simply put, a relationship is a flow of feelings.

This flow of feelings may be between you and a higher source, between you and nature, between you and your environment, or between you and another person.

To learn more about "Thinking Points" visit http://www.relationshipstrategiesinstitute.com/

"Thinking Points" for Connecting Forward

How to use thinking points

Imagine for a moment easily making personal and professional connections with others. Imagine tapping into your skills naturally, and establishing contact with individuals along the way. “Thinking Points” for Connecting Forward has been put together to help you in building your relationship mindset. At your own pace and suggesting that you read a minimum of at least one point a day, you’ll find the quotes and bits of wisdom's as a catalyst to help your thinking about the concept of relationship.

You will find that over a period of time, that just the thought of thinking about this thing called Relationship - will help you to deepen and strengthen your feeling about relationship with self and others.

ATTENTION TO A RELATIONSHIP FOCUS

Human beings throughout the world share fundamental needs.
Human beings have a need to be in relationship.

To learn more about "Thinking Points" visit http://www.relationshipstrategiesinstitute.com/

Great Listeners have Great connection

Strategy # 4 - Listen Three Times as Much with Purpose
Finding Joint Rhythm and Harmony
“Great Listeners have Great Connection”

Here I am turning fifty-eight and I still feel I can get better in building the kind of relationships I desire. And while I’ve heard over the years how important listening is to the relationship building process, today, more than ever, I’ve come to learn how true that is.

I remember one day attending the National Speakers’ Association conference in Atlanta, Georgia. Think about it: 2,000 professional speakers and everyone running around speaking…but who was there to listen? Kind of makes you laugh, doesn’t it?

Then, all of a sudden, it came to me…listening with purpose, if better understood, and better utilized could help to reap more of the rewards we all look for.

Let’s take a few moments to define purposeful listening. Purposeful listening is listening with your five senses (smell, touch, taste, hearing, and sight), and with your heart, mind, and soul. Through purposeful listening, you make good contact with the other, and the other truly feels heard. Through listening, you may give a person an opportunity to work through an issue he or she is struggling with, or hear an experience he or she wants to tell you about. Or, you listen to hear how you might partner on a project together, finding a way to become more useful and resourceful to him or her. Who would ever think that becoming a great listener is a way of being useful and resourceful to others?

Let us take you back a few years to grade school. Remember the three R’s? Wasn’t it reading, writing, and arithmetic? When do you last recall hearing of anybody taking a listening course in the early formative years of our education? In fact, how many listening courses do they offer in high school or even at the college level now? You probably won’t be able to find many. Maybe if you’re lucky, you’ll find a course offered in a continuing educational forum at one of your local colleges.

Yet, the power of all knowledge and the power that’s available to build the relationships we desire are in our increased and dramatically improved ability to listen with purpose to what people are saying, and most of all, discover what they really mean.

Your ability to listen to the needs of others is one of the most important relationship skills. It’s often been said that we have two ears and one mouth and that we should listen proportionally. If you agree with this basic concept, and if you are willing to take your listening efforts to the next level, listen three times as much with purpose.
When Does Failure to Listen Occur?

Failure to listen occurs whenever the receiver “tunes out” the sender of the message before receiving the entire message. One instance is when you disagree with some part of what is being said; you listen to the point of disagreement, and begin formulating your response in your head rather than continuing to listen.

This is the old habit of listening to only what you want to hear and failing to listen to the rest of the message. As a result, the message is misunderstood and not heard.



When we find ourselves not listening to others it’s often a product of being bored, tired, hurried, or a dozen of other reasons that we come up with. Who cares what the reason is? The fact is, we assume we hear. In any event, we are not purposeful in our listening efforts. To become a more purposeful listener, we first commit to listening, assuring that we indeed did hear the words that the person expressed. We then ask questions and put into our own words to clarify that we understand what the other person is saying. The light bulb pretty quickly goes on when we find that we have truly heard and truly do understand another. This kind of listening helps reveal deeper feelings and needs.

Let’s continue to look at developing listening skills.



Development of Listening Skills

When we listen with purpose, we profoundly transform ordinary conversation to deeper dialogue where we are better able to create together.

The attentive listening process encompasses skills that strengthen our ability to choose language and use inquiry to assist in encouraging the other to speak openly.

Here is an example of listening three times as much on the way to finding joint rhythm and harmony:

Shortly after John, a financial planner had attended a workshop on listening three times as much, he met Mark at a business conference. Over lunch they learned that they had similar backgrounds in accounting and financial planning. John, in banking, and Mark in manufacturing. Further, they learned they were both interested in starting their own businesses. John was excited by the meeting and that same week emailed Mark to tell him he had several ideas about joint ventures and was eager to explore possibilities with Mark.

John and Mark met on Friday at a quiet coffee house. They barely sat down with their coffees in hand when the following transpired between them:

Mark: John, I hear your excitement, and while I’m also excited, I need to slow down this process. While I’m open to leaving the security of my position, I need to be very careful that I also pay attention to the financial needs of my family.

John: Mark, tell me more and then I’ll share my situation as well.

(This helps create a pause and is the first stage of purposeful listening. John has established that he has heard Mark, and encourages Mark to share more. It also creates a sense of mutuality and safety in that Mark is assured that John will share his situation.)

Mark: I have been with my organization for ten years, and it supports my wife and three kids, our monthly mortgage, and car payment. On the other hand, I strongly believe that there’s a better life in the possibility of owning my own business.

John: It sounds like you’d like to leave your organization but the benefits and compensation are pretty important to you at this point in time. Is that correct?

(This demonstrates purposeful listening whereby John puts into his own words what he is hearing, and asks for Mark to respond yes or no. Overall, it helps to encourage Mark to go forward. This demonstrates the second stage of purposeful listening.)

Mark: Yes, I don’t want to mislead you that I am able to take a financial risk at this point.

John: Thanks, Mark. We’re both in our mid 30’s and I, too, am raising a family. A financial base is important to me also.

(This exchange continues the second stage of purposeful listening and clarifies the issue that is most important to Mark. It also demonstrates that they indeed do have a common base—if not, John might reply that he is at a point where he can take a bigger risk, and that they may not share this fundamental common ground at this point. There may be other avenues also that are possible to explore at this point. What is key here is that they both understand the issue that is central.)

Mark: That’s a relief, John. From our conversation the other day, I knew we had complementary skills, but I wasn’t sure that we had a shared view around the financial security piece.

John: I also like knowing that any partner I have feels a similar commitment to financial security. If, in our exploration, we keep the financial security as a must, do you feel we could continue to brainstorm possibilities?

(This is the final stage of listening three times as much—Mark is now given the opportunity to state any final concerns and/or agree to go forward.)

Mark: Absolutely and frankly, I’m relieved. I’ve been wanting to go out on my own for some time but the financial piece has always prevented me from exploring any further. If we agree that we pay attention to minimal financial risk, I think we can begin the brainstorming you mentioned.

John: I agree! Let’s begin and, hopefully, we can continue to be as candid as you just were.

(At this point John reinforces that this listening process is important to their continued success in communication. Mark and John have set the foundation for purposeful listening, finding joint rhythm and harmony. If they continue this process, they will be able to work together toward creating something profound together, and address key issues and concerns as they go forward.)

Listen Three Times as Much

Personally pause and commit to purposeful listening.
Ask questions and put into your own words, clarifying that you understand the other’s intention.
Respond final understanding by once again using your own words and asking “is this it?” When the individual indicates “yes, you’ve heard me,” you have completed the final stage of listening three times as much with purpose. If you haven’t already established where you are as it pertains to the topic at hand, you now ask the individual if this is a good time for them to hear your thinking and feelings on the matter. You have just modeled the process so most will have little trouble listening to you as well.
Once there is common understanding, you have achieved joint rhythm and harmony, and are ready to move on in the communication process.

Your ability to listen attentively to others is the beginning of finding harmony and joint rhythm toward this connection. Trust is a fantastic byproduct. We are more inclined to trust others when they truly hear us, and the opposite is also true.

Summary
The successful implementation of this strategy is based on understanding the importance of purposeful listening. Through the listening process, we, you and I, find our rhythm and our harmony together. Listening three times as much provides the following opportunities: you get more from the interaction, you affirm the person or persons you are listening to, your understanding of the message is greatly enhanced, and you lay the foundation for increased cooperation and collaboration.


Thinking Point for Connecting forward
Is there someone you are currently experiencing a disconnect with? How might listening help you better understand and reconnect with this person?

Desire for Success & Relationships

While the basic desire for success is naturally a part of all of us, what we view as important varies.

A broad spectrum exists from improved health and fitness, greater personal development, achievement, travel, fulfilling relationships, a deeper spiritual life, a more harmonious family life, a more exciting social life, more financial freedom, education, personal growth, or more free time.

With no shortage of books, tapes or CD's to listen and learn from, why is this most sought after desire going largely unfulfilled by many?

The desire for success hasn’t changed over time; what’s changed is our perception of the way we get there.

We always achieved success through relationship—now we understand that to better help and receive help, we must fundamentally experience this in all aspects of our lives.

Therefore, the intention to form solid relationships must be at the forefront of all our interactions.

The driving force behind this thought is that relationships are primary to everyone’s experience.

We are constantly in relationship with our self, with others, and with a greater environment, world, and source.

A continuous process of cultivating, attuning and attending to these relationships over a lifetime is part of the human experience we share with one another.

Our observation skills, our diagnostic skills, and our remembering what is most important increases the quality of interaction in relationships, and, we would add, increases the quality of life.

I’d like to leave you with one of my favorite quotes from Albert Einstein.

Strange is our situation here upon earth. Each of us comes for a short visit, not knowing why yet seeming to divine a purpose. From the standpoint of daily life there is one thing we do know. That we are here for the sake of others… Many times a day I realize how much my own outer and inner life is built upon the labors of others, both living and dead, and how earnestly I must exert myself in order to give in return as much as I have received and am still receiving.

Albert Einstein

Taking business relationship to the nextlevel

If I’m going to lead you down this new path of what I call NetBeing, a word that was coined that captures the essence of a relationship mindset, I thought it would be important to at least take a look at how networking has traveled over the years.

Like all good things in life, we must always start at the beginning. Won’t you join me?

The 70s: It was all about how much we knew; an independent focus in creating our own success existed in the business community. We presented ourselves as experts and were less likely to share information for fear of losing our ideas, our competitive advantage, or our share in the market place.

The 80s: How much we knew and who we knew. We developed our ability to negotiate and compete, and still believed we were independently creating our own success.

The 90s: Who we could gain access to. We looked at six degrees of separation, and all the ways we could reach and develop a business network. We also began to see, with the explosion of the quality movement, information sharing, involvement, and a more global market calling for establishing solid networks of relationships. The philosophy of networking exploded within the business community.

The 2000s: NetBeing, a new intelligence of relationship building, adds to our learning from the 1990s on how well we are able to respond to the needs of individuals. When we are continuously paying attention to individuals, we can better help them. This new intelligence includes more than responding to the obvious task or project efficiently and effectively. It is also about how enjoyment is derived in the process. Most importantly, going forward is about deepening relationships and attending to a multitude of ever changing factors.

To further capture the distinction, consider the following:

 It’s a place we are coming from, as opposed to a place we are going to. It’s a way we are all the time and everywhere, as opposed to something we do some times and some places. It brings the whole person to the forefront of every interaction. It supports the very familiar rule of reciprocity: what goes around comes around. It balances and integrates autonomy and interdependence.

The following further highlights the distinction between networking and NetBeing.

Networking - A place you go to
NetBeing - A place you are coming from

Networking - Something you do sometimes and some places
NetBeing - Something you do all the time and everywhere

Networking - Meet with others to achieve individual goals
NetBeing - Meet with others to build collaborative goals

Networking - Seeks to make contacts
NetBeing - Understands how to convert contacts to connections

Networking - Support is individually focused
NetBeing - Support is a collaborative process

Networking - How can I achieve my dreamNetBeing - How can we both achieve our dreams?
Networking - Short TermNetBeing - Long Term

Networking - Relationship concludes. Transaction is over
NetBeing - Relationship shifts Relationship evolves to another relationship

A changing world has narrowed the boundaries of the world and opened up opportunities that two short decades ago would not have been imagined. A fast paced economy calls for interfacing with others in multifaceted ways, and our relationship web now extends throughout the world. Therefore, the 21st century provides unique opportunities and challenges in building business and personal relationships. NetBeing focuses the state of concentration on meeting challenges with greater and greater ease.

In addition to the many challenges we faced in previous decades, the following factors now face us as well:
 The information age bombards us with hundreds if not thousands of messages and bits of information every day. We must stay abreast of what is important and stay tuned in to changing trends. Now, in reaction to almost instantaneous information from all over the world, a chain reaction of change is perpetuating an ever-revolving change reaction.
 Quality of life considerations and the diversity of our times challenge us to pay attention to how we approach business relationships. Family and life balance issues have always been critical issues for most people. Now, more and more individuals are making decisions based on that which is most important to them.
 With today’s technological revolution there are virtual offices everywhere. Telecommuting, videophones, video conferencing, black board conferencing, teleconferencing, emailing, faxes and modems, cellular phones and laptops give us unprecedented access all over the world.
How we think about work is changing. There is an old joke about two manufacturing employees. The first worker asks: “Is your job in jeopardy? The second worker responds: “No, my job is very secure. It’s me they can do without. More and more individuals are becoming entrepreneurs, both in response to their desire to navigate their own destiny, and from reengineering, downsizing, and rightsizing that has occurred within their organizations. These new entrepreneurs are looking at each other for markets, for resources, for products, for services, and for business relationships. The new reality will continue to challenge how we think about work as mergers and acquisitions and a leaner flatter organization continues to evolve.
 To keep up with the changing world, knowing how to access knowledge and information is vital. Think about that. The world is changing; yesterday’s knowledge base is not enough to carry you forward. In fact, new information and technology are advancing so rapidly that you literally cannot keep up. You must learn how to obtain the information you need. The beauty of this revolution of need matching up with technology is that just-in-time-knowledge (JIT-K) is only a fingertip away. A JIT-K perspective helps to prevent information overload and apply the knowledge as needed. Some may call this wisdom!
When we fundamentally understand that we have a multitude of considerations that impact how we are in relationship, our view of change and the importance of change is magnified. Consider Ron’s personal view of change.

Let’s take a few minutes and communicate about relationships and change. When you were a youngster, did you enjoy looking into a Kaleidoscope? Were you amazed at the infinite varieties of colors and patterns that evolved as it turned in your hand? Did you ever turn it so quickly that you did not have a chance to fully appreciate what you were watching because things were changing so quickly in the little viewer?
The world of relationship is like a Kaleidoscope. The changes in the viewer pale in comparison to the changes experienced in the last decade–and the changes we will experience in the years to come.

There was very little to think about when turning that little Kaleidoscope: just look and enjoy. If you view the world of relationship as a Kaleidoscope, you will see change. Rather than standing there mesmerized or memorizing the colors and patterns as if you can keep things the same, imagine what it might be like to be the colors. For openers, think about every second of your life, every minute, every day, being different from the preceding second, minute, or day. No two interactions or opportunities are the same, just as the patterns in the Kaleidoscope are never the same. Changes are inevitable–in behavior, in life patterns, in your knowledge base, in your habits, and in your relationships. We are not the same person we were even moments ago.

People change.

Look around you. Are there new people in your life that were not there a month ago, six months ago, last year? Get to know people around you, and get involved with them. Don’t just observe the changes passively, as if you are looking into a viewer. Be a part of them. Get to know people you come into contact with, what they do, what makes them tick. Become interested in them and how you can help them. They’ll do the same for you and you’ll enjoy life more.
Technology changes. Are you still using the same equipment as one, two, five years ago? Not very likely. And the equipment you are now using will become obsolete in the near future. Further more, staying abreast of the technological changes and discussing preferred communication tools with your partner is key in developing a collaborative relationship.
Leadership techniques change. When was the last time you picked up and read a management book for insight about new management and leadership practices?An understanding of the changing needs of today’s workforce (that’s all of us!) will help you be more progressive and able to meet and partner with others within or outside your organization.
Economic factors, urgency, people’s values, technology, and relationship management: all changing everyday, truly a Kaleidoscope. You can become a part of the Kaleidoscope–get inside the viewer–and be the one who determines the next pattern, if you make up your mind to. That’s what the tools from this book will help you do.

Summary
You have reviewed a historical perspective of how networking has changed. A new intelligence of NetBeing has been introduced—the intelligence of moving forward and building deeper relationships while considering the Kaleidoscope of ever changing dynamics in our world. NetBeing has been distinguished from networking recognizing that opportunity, creativity, and inspiration come in many forms. NetBeing calls for staying attuned to the individual and to the world business community, exposing the many possibilities along the way.
In my next writing, we will discuss the desire for success, as you define success, and how developing a relationship focus is a crucial aspect of achieving that success.

Ron Sukenick is the Chief Relationship Officer and founder of the Relationship Strategies Institute, a training and Relationship development company that provides innovative, effective and relevant programs and systems for corporations, organizations, and associations. To learn more about the value of Relationship Development, visit their Web site at www.RelationshipStrategiesInstitute.com or e-mail him at - RS@RelationshipStrategiesInstitute.com.

Introducing the 5 R's of Relationship

In some of my past blogging, I stated that there is a fundamental desire in all of us to be in relationship, and to develop relationships that flourish. The desire for relationship and developing deeper relationships is a basic and universal human need. This desire is a more popular subject today than at any other time in history. There are thousands of books written on relationships. Television shows talk about relationship. Individuals talk about relationship. Counselors, therapists, and success coaches talk about relationship. In spite of the interest and awareness, and an abundance of information about relationship, this greatest of all desires is largely unfulfilled. How can that be? Perhaps with all this information, we are still uncertain or confused about the vital factors that contribute to deepening relationship satisfaction.

Making the Choice
The process of choosing and deepening relationships is interrelated. At each point in your relationship, you and those to whom you relate may choose either to develop or not to develop your relationships further. How do we make that choice? Of course, there are many ways. One person described her experience as jumping belly first into the water. I gingerly test the water with toes, feet, and then slowly edge into the water. I temper my approach into the water with caution depending on whether it is a warm day in June versus a hot day in July. If the sun is shining or if it is overcast, I approach the water accordingly.

The same is true in relationship.

We are continuously feeling our way along in the meeting with another. We test the temperature, gauging the mutuality and connection, and then step back to assess how it feels, and whether the other person or persons have a reciprocal response. A multitude of factors in our environment are considered in going forward. Sometimes, no holds barred, we jump right in!
I offer the following five R’s to throw into the mix of discussion around this very critical topic: Rewardingness, Reciprocity, Rules, Resourcefulness, and Relationshift.

Rewardingness
Webster defines rewarding as a sense of reward or worthwhile return. We are building on this definition by defining rewardingness as an ongoing exchange and flow based on mutual benefit for all. This exchange may be in providing services or products, or sharing learning, contacts, or resources.
There exists a fundamental psychological principle that people are more likely to repeat behaviors that have rewarding consequences for them than those that do not. Relationships are likely to deepen if partners can increase the range and depth of the mutual rewards they receive from one another, and if they are able to sustain a high level of mutual trust and benefits.
The relationship provides joyful experiences. This is the reward itself!
Phil Black, a student, writer, and teacher of Gestalt Psychotherapy poses the rhetorical question “…when all goals are close to equal, what determines who we remain in relationship with whether it is business or pleasure? It is the relationship itself that determines this decision—the ease and the pleasure derived. In the end, there must be joy: a laugh, a smile, or we will not find satisfaction, and we will not stay with or return to.”
Capturing his remark and adding, yes, it is the reward of the relationship that keeps us involved.
Reciprocity
Webster defines reciprocity as a corresponding and complementary exchange: the quality or state of being reciprocal. Through mutual dependence, action or influence, a mutual exchange of privileges takes place. This definition fits well with the underlying intention that is inherent to a relationship focus. Most long-standing relationships are grounded in some form of reciprocity in the giving and receiving of rewards. Cunningham and Antill (1981) observe, “It is indisputable that most human relationships are based on considerations of equity and exchange.” Sharing this view of reciprocity as a joint responsibility enhances and deepens the relationship and the connection.

Rules
Rules are defined by Webster’s New World Dictionary as an established regulation or guide for conduct.
The definition for the purpose of this article is to reinforce that each of us brings rules to the relationship based on many personal factors and that rules also emerge in relationship. The personal factors, to name a few, may include personality characteristics, boundary preferences, time availability or urgency, level of experience, geographical or global factors, comfort level, life focus, or monetary needs/constraints. The rules that emerge are based on the reason for the relationship, the length of the relationship, the level of established trust, and the degree of confidence that exists. Rules constantly change as the relationship changes. While rules may become formal or contractual, rules are often informal. Relationship rules provide guidelines and clarify expectations for your own and your partner’s interaction. Simply put, rules are the conditions for relationship. Remembering to look at these rules from time to time helps uncover whether the relationship rule continues to serve you well, or whether suspending or replacing the rule would serve the relationship better.

Resourcefulness
Webster defines resource as a source of information or expertise; a source of supply or support. Resourcefulness is the ability to effectively and efficiently respond to problems and determines resources that are important (people, technology, materials, services, time, et cetera.) Resourcefully, responding to the need in the moment calls for attention to ongoing and emerging needs. This constant reevaluation help answer the question what is needed now. The ongoing accumulation of knowledge and skills help you become more and more resourceful in relationships. Further, resourcefulness helps in the taking of a large network of contacts into purposeful connections.

Relationshift
The spirit of the word relationshift reflects that a relationship never really ends, it simply flows to something else—through a relationshift, the relationship becomes relevant or figural again when time, opportunity and a mutual focus reemerges. The concept of relevance further expands the definition to consider the questions who, why, when, where, and how. We have changing needs and we need to ask a host of questions as we go forward in relationship. Paying attention to relevance in a given situation keeps an “on-target” focus toward developing that which currently aligns to what is most important to self and the other. In short, relevance is constantly changing. That is the very reason attention to the shift taking place in relationship is important.
While the relevance of the relationship is changing in the present, it is also imperative for all of us to understand that relationships, as a whole, always have been and always will be shifting! A collaboration ending now, may come back again twenty years from now. Relevance reemerges, if you will, around a common goal. Developing a meaningful and quality relationship is the lifeblood of taking your personal and professional relationships to the next level--lifting up and helping others along the way. When we look at a relationship with these eyes, we see that we can easily pick up again as we move forward in our personal and professional life.
The five relationship factors presented above are in my opinion foundational to taking your personal and professional relationships to the next level. The 5 R’s, rewardingness, reciprocity, rules, resourcefulness, and relationshift, support a relationship focus whereby new possibilities are continuously created. Each of these factors describes a context for the existence, the fluidity, the vitality, and the richness of the relationship to emerge and flourish. The 5 R’s reinforce the importance of paying attention to the relationship based on benefits, common interests, resource identification, expectations, requirements, and mutuality.

Until we meet again, be safe and enjoy the joy of interaction.

Attention to a Relationship focus

Motivational experts in the last century proposed a timeless and sustaining theme in the study of motivation: human beings throughout the world, share fundamental needs. On a continuum from physiological and survival needs to reaching to realize full potential, the central element threading throughout is the need for affiliation. Human beings have a need to be in relationship.

What is relationship? Simply put, relationship is a flow of feeling's.

This flow of feeling's may be between you and a higher source, between you and nature, between you and your environment, or between you and another person. In this flow, an opportunity exists to experience connection. With another there is an opportunity for individual and mutual growth and support. We, as human beings, affect and are affected by others, help and are helped. Individuals have the opportunity to reach individual potential far beyond what they are able to do on their own, and to co-create when truly engaged in relationship.

Attention to a relationship focus takes this premise to the next level - All of us need enhanced relationship focus to maximize our full potential!

How does this need for relationship play out in life?

Let's think about this together - A person is drawn into relationship based on the joy of interacting with another person who shares a similar view of the world and incorporates fun, ease, energy, reliability, and creativity into the interaction. When these characteristics exist in business relationships, overall satisfaction is enhanced while helping each other obtain financial and professional success and enjoyment.

Creating personal and dynamic success in all aspects of our lives, requires attention to building our relationship skills.

The 21st Century is an unprecedented time. The pace of change is so rapid that working at multiple levels with a wide range of partners and with a multitude of associations is paramount.

The biggest challenge most people face is the ability to successfully build the kinds of relationships necessary in order to have the kind of success to which they aspire.

Here, for your consideration are underlying thinking and guiding principles:

* The 21st century calls for self-knowledge and directing one's own life. Hence our number one guiding principle is to take leadership in your life's direction. Consciously and constantly choose the direction of your life toward that which is most important to you.

* To effectively align your choices, your time, and your energy, you must live purposefully. To do this, you must know your life purpose.

* To be successful in building relationship with others, you must first start with building a successful relationship with yourself. Self-knowledge is the underpinning that helps you persist in the direction of relationship success.

* Multiple visions for your life exist. Futurists predict that in the 21st century, each of us will have many careers. Identifying and defining your life purpose is the foundation; clearly aligning your career visions to your life purpose will create the vitality that will help you sense and seize business partnerships and relationships in the now and in the future.

* A clear distinction between NetBeing and Networking exists. Networking provides a situational focus to gain competitive personal success and for individuals to connect with others to accomplish individual project tasks. In NetBeing, individual purposes overlap and a joint focus fosters mutual and multiple successes. NetBeing transforms networking contacts to a relationship focus through person-to-person connection. NetBeing links creativity, resources, and ideas, people-to-people in mutually supportive, rewarding, and purposeful relationships over a lifetime.

* Creating success for others along the way takes on a life of its own! Through helping others, tangible and intangible rewards create magical and mysterious outcomes for all parties.

* What you have traditionally done to satisfy people is not enough. Individuals want a deeper connection! New ways of showing up today and beyond must be continuously considered.

So as I get ready to take on the day, my question to you is the following:

What are you doing to built out deeper relationships with the people your meeting and the people you currently know?

Secrets of Building Stronger Relationships That Grow Your Business

The true value of a good business relationship has never been higher. Strong relationship management is an investment that is virtually guaranteed to pay dividends. You can’t say that about advertising, sales promotions, or real estate holdings. Only relationships have the power to truly drive business. Good relationships drive business to you. Bad relationships drive business away. Obviously, you would want to maintain a good relationship with existing clients. Take, as proof, the finding of Internet market research firm DoubleClick. Their studies showed that repeat customers were exceptionally valuable. They are the ones that spend the most time looking at your website, are most likely convert to sales (20% more), look at nearly 17 pages each session, and spend the most money at about $180 on average. And, if it works that way for fickle online customers, just imagine how it works offline. But, even before we have the chance to know them as customers we must work to build strong relationships with them – even if that work may not come for two, three, or more years. We must be continually planting the seeds. In order to get new business, we must regularly be out there cultivating relationships with a strong network of personal and professional contacts. The key to great relationships is to start off on the right foot from the first interaction you have with someone. Begin by getting to know what your new contact values and how you can help them get it. Share your skills, knowledge, and advice freely. And, focus on achieving mutually beneficial goals.It’s clear that people prefer to do business with those they like and trust. Research has shown that certain traits are sought when looking for a business partner. See how you stack up with the following:


True to personal values – They do what they say and say what they believe. Accept personal responsibility – If something went wrong with an order or project, they don’t waste time pointing fingers. They are quick to accept responsibility and to make it right. Envision goals and aggressively pursue – They know what it takes to achieve their goals and they work smartly and diligently to achieve that goal. Communicate effectively – Ideal business partners listen well to others ideas and can express their views clearly and convincingly. Value others’ time and talents – These individuals realize it takes a team to make projects happen. They enjoy bringing different perspectives together and look for the unique skills of each team member. Understand that relationships are interdependent - They seek mutually beneficial goals and can work with others to achieve those goals.Action orientation – The best business partners are doers. They lead by example and encourage others to action.

So how did you stack up? If it’s not as well as you would like, now is the time to start taking steps to make yourself more beneficial to clients, potential clients, and networking contacts. Regularly reassess your progress at becoming a value-adding resource. The strong relationships you develop – and the future business that is sure to come – will be the reward. And, once they do become customers, remember that goal of mutual benefit and stay true to your good service promises:
· Respond to email quickly – preferably under 24 hours.
· Follow up on all orders – make sure they’re happy with their purchase and suggest other services if appropriate
· Stand behind your product - give refunds promptly and unconditionally when requested.
· Ask their advice – get customer feedback on surveys or other mechanism.
· Share your knowledge – write a newsletter or share valuable tips and information to clients and friends.
· Make it easy for them to do business with you – streamline the process so it’s painless for them to use your service.
Ron is the Chief Relationship Officer and founder of the Relationship Strategies Institute, a training and Relationship development company that provides innovative, effective and relevant programs and systems for corporations, organizations, and associations. To learn more about the value of Relationship Development, visit their Web site at www.RelationshipStrategiesInstitute.com or e-mail him at – RS@RelationshipStrategiesInstitute.com